Monday, 29 December 2008

"I'll just keep my eyes closed and hope it's quick Doctor!"

Return of the Daleks Episode 6.
Our adventure begins to spiral towards it's dizzying conclusion this week, as the Doctor and Sarah-Jane put plans into action and make their escape from the Daleks. After some archetypal running up and down corridors our heroes are cornered with Daleks on both sides! They close in, ready to release the fatal death rays (four cries of "Exterminate!" and not one Dalek manages to actually open fire!) The Doctor deploys the classic, 'jump over the side and let the Daleks exterminate each other' maneuver, but not before Miss Smtih utters the immortal line '"I'll just keep my eyes closed and hope it's quick Doctor!" Well, I know Tom Baker had something of a reputation with the ladies, but as far as I'm concerned, Sarah's dying request crossed a line, especially for a children's comic strip. However, before she can literally get her knickers in a twist, the pair find themselves loose in the bowels of the Dalek ship.

Meanwhile, the Time Lords, sensing that Shazar might just be telling pork pies, send him back to the Daleks, carrying what he believes is the correct mineral to effect the Tardis' repairs...

More fun next week as (so we are told) the Doctor "masterminds the Dalek's destruction!"

Sunday, 21 December 2008

"Stop mooning over there, Sarah-Jane!"

Return of the Daleks Episode 5. Yep, I want my money back also (not that the original cover price would equate to a great deal these days) as you can't have a line of dialogue like that and simply not deliver graphically. So, as things become desperate for the Doctor, he bargains with the chief Dalek to let him have Sarah-Jane help him repair the TARDIS' 'time cuircuits'. While the Doctor scribbles instructions on the back of a fag packet to her (presumably hoping daleks can't read) Miss Smith apparently reacts to the current situation by getting her ar$e out, (which we sadly don't get to see) presumably at the sentry dalek guarding them as they work on the TARDIS. Meanwhile, Shazar is sent on a mission to find some Cirenium as part of the repair efforts and (surprize surprize) is captured by the Time Lords. Of course, in typical treacherous weasily baddie style, he tells the Time Lords that it's all the Doctor's fault and nothing to do with him... will they believe him?

Sunday, 14 December 2008

"Exploding Comets! They're manufacturing the TARDIS!"

This week's thrilling installment - the good Doctor is woken from his slumber and given a guided tour of the Dalek 'spaceball' by Shazar. That's when he inadvertently spies what the fiendish mutants are up to - manufacturing copies of the TARDIS so that they can invade all of time and space! "Exploding comets!" exclaims our hero, as, like some bizarre version of the Generation Game's final round, dozens of police boxes file past on a conveyor belt. Sadly, there is no fondue set or cuddly toy, just Tardises. (Or is that Tardi?) Whatever the plural is, it doesn't matter, the Time Lords are too busy flapping about the fact they can't locate the Doctor's ship still and so decide that it's obviously because he's 'up to no good'. Until next week's thrilling 'seasonal' installment, readers... farewell!

Sunday, 7 December 2008

"Put out an Intergalactic Time Search!"

Return of the Daleks - Episode 3. From TV Comic circa April 1975, this week's installment sees the Doctor sabotage the 'power circuit of the time factor' in his Tardis, in order to stop the Daleks getting their plungers on it. However this alerts Gallifrey that there's some jiggery pokery going on in Time and Space and so a Time Lord with a striking resemblance to Bernard Horsfall orders they "an Intergalactic Time Search" for the Doctor, who can longer be found in their 'time thread'. Meanwhile, the Doctor himself decides to sleep through the entire episode. Keen to wake him up, the Daleks and their stooge Shazar decide the best way to do that is to torture poor Sarah Jane... strangely, she's happy to go along with the plan and so the electrodes are attached and they crank up the voltage! More fun and frolics next week!

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